|Posted by [email protected] on April 19, 2017 at 3:10 PM|
In January of this year, we both celebrated milestone birthdays. You turned three, and I turned thirty years old. Whooo hoo!! I had a big celebration planned for us. It was called "The BIG THREE-Oh!". Invitations had been sent, RSVPs had been made, the vendors were paid, and outfits were all set.
But the party never happened. Why??? Well, when it snows in North Carolina, everything pretty much shuts down for a few days... and I mean everything. Don't even think about trying to buy bread or milk in the grocery store. Gone. LOL Nevertheless, I was determined to have this party, even if it meant only 5 people were going to show up. I even moved the party up one day in hopes that everyone would be able to make it before the snow started to "stick". We went to the venue and started setting up when it began sleeting outside. It was then, and only then, that I came to the realization that it was no longer about "our party" but about the safety of our loved ones. The party was cancelled.
We spent the weekend snowed in with our Florida family who came to celebrate with us. We watched movies, shared stories and ate cake... which pretty much means you still had a great weekend, and that's all that really mattered. And after a couple of months, we even found the time to do our "BIG THREE-Oh!" photo shoot. A couple of my fellow Tar Heels made this shoot come out beautifully- Kafi Robinson (Lady Iman Photography) and Shatara Jeanette (Just Face It Make Up Artistry).
As with most things in my life right now, I was able to observe a few gentle reminders throughout this experience:
1. Sometimes things don't go the way you plan. That's ok! You just have to roll with it. Don't let external things that you can't control ruin your ability to appreciate your present blessings. Being happy is a choice. Choosing happiness brings peace... and there is NOthing like being in perfect peace, my dear.
2. Understand how beautiful you are. It's been a long time since I've felt comfortable in front of a camera. Your dad and I separated before you turned one year old, and on top of the separation I was still dealing with postpartum depression. I'd gained over 50 lbs and I did not feel like myself AT ALL. I avoided crowds, most public places, photos, and, of course, singing engagements. I am just now REALLY learning to understand that I'd been finding my identity in the wrong things. I didn't feel "beautiful" because I didn't look a certain way. I know realize how silly that is! Don't get me wrong, there will be days when you're just not feeling it. On those days, remember that you are beautiful because you are fearfully and wonderfully made by God. There is no other person in this world who has what you have to do what you will do for the kingdom. So, on those days when you're in a funk, do something that makes you feel beautiful anyway. For me, that was wearing long dresses with flowers and my favorite earrings. At this point, you are partial to tutus and shiny shoes, so we went with that. :-)
(Photo: Miss Elizabeth Grey at The BIG THREE-Oh! Photoshoot with Lady Iman Photography)